Unfailing Love
By Paulette Ferland
Memories of my mother, Annette, are kept deep within the refines
of my soul. Some of these lasting feelings are senses of warmth
and
abiding love. Yes, those are reserved memories stored in that
special place that only a mother and daughter can share. A mother
and daughter for all time. My mother was my daytime and my night,
my joy, my hope, and I planned on her being there for all time.
My childhood was happy. Growing up in a family of eight, laughter
filled our home daily. My mother made sure of that! We spent all
of
our summers at our camp. In the Spring of the year we would go
out and clean through the drawers as a family, mom in charge.
She taught us how to locate the cozy nests of chipmunks, mice,
and other furry beings that made our camp theirs during those
icy cold winter months. Those furry varmints seemed to always
find a pair of our flannel pajamas and theywould claim them and
shred them for their own. Every year it seemed we got new pj's
to replace the ones they
borrowed in cold weather. Once the camp was swept, mopped, dusted,
and aired out, we were ready to have fun.
As I became older, I married and began a home of my own. Even
then, my mother was an integral part of my everyday life. I was
very fortunate, my parents lived only ten miles away. Every Saturday,
my mom and I would spend the day together. We were the best of
friends. We especially enjoyed rainy days! We would drive to Dunkin
Donuts, purchase the largest coffee they sold, and sit in the
restaurant and watch traffic and people come and go. To this very
day, I love it when it rains. It brings back the fondest memories
of a time gone by spent with a truly special friend.
On one frosty autumn day in October, my family showed up unexpectedly
at our home with bad news. My entire family, including my mother,
came to tell us that she found out she had cancer, squamous cell
carcinoma, in her jaw. I was devastated in
hearing this. My world would never ever be the same again! I didn't
sleep at all that night. I couldn't free my mind of bad thoughts
of
losing Mom.
Mom's dentist called and referred us to a well-known plastic surgeon
in the Bangor area and he made arrangements to see us immediately.
He decided to operate on my mom that very next week. She had surgery
here in Bangor, which endured for nine long hours. Following surgery,
she had six weeks of intense radiation on her face and neck. The
surgery left her very scarred and disfigured. Our life as a family
became very difficult. Every time we went out in public with Mom,
people would stare at her disfigurement. I am sure they were only
curious in wondering what had happened. After a short while, my
mom did not wish to go out in public. The plastic surgeon assured
us that if she could live five years, she would be free from the
cancer.
We went on for those five years and had a good life as a family.
Most of our good times were spent visiting with each other and
family members she felt comfortable with, playing cards, watching
old movies, and staying away from crowds. During those trying
years, we grew together even closer. One day my mother developed
a cold. I took her to a doctor in our town to get some medicine
to help her. After awhile, the doctor came out and said, "May
I see you in one of the examining rooms?" I answered, "Sure."
When we got just inside the room he said, "Did you know your
mother's cancer was back?" Fear hit once again in my very
soul. That doctor referred us to an out of state plastic surgeon.
The very next week, my family and I drove mom on the six-hour
journey to New Hampshire for a surgery that would be even longer
than the first. Once we were able to visit with Mom, she was scarred
even more. Technology in that room was performing every necessary
function for her and she looked frail in that state.
My mother and I were out there six weeks during that cold winter
while she healed. I stayed in a Hospice during that time and my
shoes became my mode of transportation. On a cold February day,
we journeyed back home with hopes of a successful full
recovery for my mom. But, that was not to be. After a one-month
check-up with her doctor, he confirmed the cancer was back! The
doctor told us that day, it wouldn't be long. I made arrangements
at my present job to take a leave of absence to care for her.
My mother lasted until October 8th 1992, the day before my parent's
fiftieth wedding anniversary. The day she actually died, she asked
me to call all of her children out of work and to come quickly.
When they arrived she looked tenderly in all of her children's
faces and with the little breath she could muster up, she said
farewell to each in her own way. With that, she passed on into
the quiet night, encircled by her devoted family, carried off
to her new dwelling, serenaded by angels. As she was with me the
day I was born, I was honored to be with her the day she left
us. It was difficult for all of us to carry on with broken and
damaged hearts. The joy of our lives had left. So, I ask you,
"Can love be buried? Is love permanent? Can love endure forever?"
This was a "Woman To Admire" certainly! Today I carry
on with a gentle spirit, a compassionate heart, and memories of
an "unfailing
love" in my life... A once-in-a-lifetime love.