If Patsy Washington had had her way she would have preferred to remain out of the public eye, yet she was determined to fill her unique position as best she could. Or as she put it: “I know too much of the vanity of human affairs to expect felicity from the splendid scenes of public life. I am still determined to be cheerful and to be happy in whatever situation I may be…”

Washington took office in 1789 and a year later the seat of the U.S. government was moved from New York to Philadelphia. There the first presidential household consisted of five secretaries who also served as social aides, as well as twenty other servants. Guests who attended the weekly receptions at the President's home entered a fashionable and tastefully decorated home to meet the president with a bow and brief conversation. When Martha held regular receptions in the drawing room, men bowed and ladies curtsied as she remained seated on a couch and the President moved among the guests. Official dinners were known for well-prepared food but not much conversation though the Washington listened politely. Guests found Martha courteous but not known for her intellect. She much preferred family visits to the enforced formality of official events.

Though we are all familiar with the portraits of Martha Washington as appearing elderly - a gray haired woman in a frilly cap, by modern standards she was not old - only in her fifties. Born in June, 1731 near Williamsburg, Virginia, daughter of plantation owner Col. John Dandridge and oldest of eight children. As with other girls of her period, she grew up with minimal schooling but enjoyed a free, happy childhood with riding, dancing and a great deal of experience and training in household management. Yet there were exciting moments for an adventuresome young lady. One early account relates how once she rode her horse up onto the porch of her uncle’s home, and then frightened onlookers by announcing she would ride the horse right into the house. Eventually her aunt talked her out of it.

When Martha was old enough to enter society she was very popular at Williamsburg social events. Yet the dances, parties and receptions were all designed to enable Martha to meet a likely husband since society decreed she should marry, have numerous children and manage a household. She would also be a skilled manager since her responsibility as oldest daughter at her family plantation had given her the domestic and managerial experience she would need for her expected career as wife and mother.

She assumed this role when at age eighteen when she married Captain Daniel Parke Custis, a steady member of an unsteady family and nearly twice her age. Custis' father had long sought to control his son by threatening to disinherit him, however, he finally agreed to young Martha as a bride for his son. Then shortly after their marriage in 1749 the father died and Daniel received his inheritance.

Mr. and Mrs. Custis happily settled down at the Custis plantation known as the White House and over the next few years Martha had four children, but two of them succumbed to the diseases that at the time often took the lives of small children. Tragically, in July, 1757 Daniel suddenly died, leaving a grieving and very wealthy widow. Their plantation consisted of some 17000 acres, much of which were tobacco fields, plus $20,000 in other assets. Daniel's lack of a will meant she and her children – five year old Jack and three year old Patsy -- inherited everything.

Then she met Col. George Washington, who was a courteous gentleman of a good family with a military record against the French. In March of 1758, he began to court the widow Custis.

They were officially engaged that summer of 1758, but history has little record of their actual feelings because Washington later destroyed much of their correspondence. At the time Washington himself was also trying to recover from a love affair that was most likely one sided. For several years he had been enamored of a neighbor's wife and while it is doubtful there was any intimacy and the romance was mostly in his mind, he retained an affection for the lady. After her marriage, Martha came to know the people involved but apparently did not let this interfere with her affection for Washington.

Still, while she was a skilled domestic manager, since her education had been sketchy, she occasionally relied on her husband to write her letters. Yet in 1758, before their marriage, she wrote a letter for herself to London business agents describing the coloring of a particular garment: “I have sent a night gound to be dide of an fashonnob Corler fitt for me to ware and beg you would have it dide better that I sent Las year that was very badly done this gound is of good Lenght for me.”

After Martha and Washington were married in January, 1759, the groom was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses and in April, they traveled to Mount Vernon they would spend much of their married life. There she contributed not just her funds but her energy to the plantation operation. Eventually, Washington expanded the property to some 8000 acres where 250 workers labored in the shops, fields, and mills. He also enlarged the house till it resembled the familiar home we know today.

Martha doted on Jack and Patsy, spoiling them outrageously, despite her husband's desire to raise them otherwise. Jack was handsome and indolent and Patsy while sweet tempered was delicate and displayed epileptic symptoms. When Patsy died at age 17, Martha turned her grief into helping other young girls of a similar age.

In 1774 with Patsy gone and Jack dropped out of college and married, Martha and Washington entered a new phase in their lives. Then Washington was selected as commander of the colonial forces in the upcoming Revolution, and when he assumed command Martha spent her time in visiting family. However, she made it a point to join her husband when the Continental army was in winter camp. Each year the family coach brought Martha, her maid and groceries to the camp to remain until the army returned to action in the spring when she returned home. For eight successive winters Martha was with the army, sometimes staying as many as six months.

Conditions at the camp were far different than Mount Vernon since at Valley Forge Washington, Martha and the military aides lived in a stone and log house, sharing many of the deprivations of the soldiers.. Also, though she preferred dressing in the latest fashions from Europe, she decided to forego such finery during the war, and wore only homemade garments. Some of the troops were so appreciative of her presence and example that they dubbed themselves “Lady Washington’s dragoons.”

Though perhaps a marriage of convenience and of mutual affection and respect instead of romantic love, the Washingtons were a devoted couple. In fact, according to their adopted son George Washington Parke Custis, for the forty years of their marriage Washington wore “suspended from his neck by a gold chain and resting on his bosom, the miniature portrait of his wife.”

~*~

A native of Kansas City , Missouri , Anne grew up in northwestern Ohio , and holds degrees in history: a BA from Wilmington College , Wilmington , Ohio (1967), and a MA from Central Missouri State University , Warrensburg , Missouri (1968)

A freelance writer since the early 1970s, she has published in Christian and secular publications, has taught history on the junior college level, and has spoken at national and local writers’ conferences. Her book “Brittany, Child of Joy”, an account of her severely retarded daughter, was issued by Broadman Press in 1987. She also publishes an encouragement newsletter “Rainbows Along the Way.”