Sara Delano Roosevelt
To the Manner Born
1854 – 1941 A.D.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt was a distinctive chief executive in several ways. He was elected to four terms, and headed the nation during the national struggles of the 1930s and 1940s, but also he had two strong memorable women in his life. One was his wife Eleanor who became an important historical figure, but the other was his mother Sara Delano Roosevelt, who while totally dedicated to her son, was also the first mother of an American president who was able to vote for her son.

Born in Newburgh, New York in 1854, Sara Delano was the daughter of a merchant, whose commercial ships sailed around the world and in 1862, which offered the family a unique experience. They traveled to Hong Kong on Delano’s clipper ship Surprise, where they lived for two years, and Sara particularly remembered the voyage where she spent time with a crewmember who told her sea stories.

Back in the U.S. and living in New York in 1865, Sara was homeschooled, though she briefly attended a German girls’ school. Then as she matured and it came time to be married she was actually unlike other girls of her class and social level. For one thing Sara Delano was tall—5’11”— and also demonstrated a dedication to her own life direction when it came to her choice of spouse. In 1880 she married neighbor James Roosevelt, a widower 26 years older and the father of a grown son. Their son Franklin Delano was born two years later, but he was to be their only child since the birth was difficult and doctors discouraged any future pregnancies. Thus Sara could—and did—dedicate her life to raising Franklin.

Though many other women of her class used servants, Sara herself assumed many maternal duties—in fact she nursed her son for many months. She later said, “I felt [then] as I do now, that every mother ought to learn to care for her own baby, whether she can afford to delegate the tasks to someone else or not.” She was also so enhanced with her son as he grew that she carefully recorded his every accomplishment. As author Angelo put it: “The intensity of her mothering, her attention to every detail of her son’s young life, seems excessive, but to Sara it was nothing other than natural.”

When it came to schooling, Sara did employ tutors for Franklin but also personally supervised much of his classroom education, while his father instilled in him a great love of outdoor sports. Basically, for Sara bringing up Franklin was a full time vocation, since she planned his lessons and other activities on a strict schedule. However, it was a rich childhood since he had the direct personal attention of both parents.

When Franklin was 14 he was sent to Groton, a Massachusetts boarding school with a well known reputation. Being separated from her son was difficult for Sara, but after time passed as she adjusted, Franklin also began to assert a new-found independence that he soon demonstrated. When she once asked him to decline a social invitation she considered unsuitable he refused to do so writing her: “Please don’t make any more arrangements for my future happiness.” This was assuredly difficult for Sara. As author Angelo wrote: “The mother must have been stung by such sharp resistance, but she was learning that her son had willpower to match her own.”

James Roosevelt died in 1900 and the same year Franklin entered Harvard but to remain close to her son, Sara moved to Boston to live nearby. Then she received another shock when in 1903 at a family gathering Franklin confided to his mother that he wanted to marry his fifth cousin Eleanor Roosevelt, niece of President Theodore Roosevelt. But if the shock turned to opposition it was not because she objected to the potential bride. After all, the Roosevelt families had known each other for years, but possibly Sara saw it as a new challenge to her influence over her son. When confronted about his new decision, Sara did ask that they keep their engagement confidential for a year. Also, Sara did try another ploy to separate the couple as she attempted to arrange an appointment for Franklin to a diplomatic post, but when that did not work out Sara was again stymied.

The couple was married in New York City in 1906, then as they returned from their honeymoon they moved into a New York townhouse that Sara had provided, and furnished. She continued her control when two years later she gifted them with more permanent quarters. This was a six story New York row house built with a single entrance, but just inside were two doors, one leading to the young couples’ side, and the other door to Sara’s since she lived next door. She designed and furnished both residences to her own tastes, and even arranged that there were connecting doors on several upper levels. She also hired and managed the servants, thus operating each household, even raising the children as they came along. Sometimes it meant she would countermand parental orders.

For the young wife and mother Eleanor, this limited power and influence in her own home ,and was undoubtedly very frustrating for her. For she still struggled with insecurity as well as a desire to be her own person, since her childhood had been difficult after both parents died. She had also been a plain child dubbed “Granny” and was often raised by older family members. However, she gradually did find herself as she developed an interest in politics, and social issues. Still, life with Sara was difficult at times for Eleanor, as she tried to assert herself as she also sought the older woman’s support and approval.

Then in 1918 Sara’s influence helped Eleanor as she discovered Franklin was having an affair with her own social secretary, but while Eleanor offered her husband a divorce, Sara stepped in with an ultimatum. If he went through with a divorce, Sara insisted she would disinherit him, and for his part Franklin realized that a divorce would mean the end of his then growing interest in politics. So there was no divorce, and over time his union with Eleanor evolved into a close working partnership, instead of a traditional marriage.

There came another challenge to Sara’s influence in 1921, when Franklin was stricken with polio and as he recovered, his future became a source of controversy. Sara felt her son should retire as an invalid, to his Hyde Park home, but Franklin and Eleanor were united in their desire for him to continue his political plans. So as time passed, as Eleanor then found it within herself to stand up to Sara and while still encouraging Franklin, they resumed the political advance that the polio had interrupted. As author Angelo said: “Eleanor began her long journey from passive, put-upon wife to her place as humanitarian icon.”

So after serving as New York governor, Franklin Delano Roosevelt was elected president in 1932 and as Sara adjusted she still supported her son. “I am never surprised by anything he does because he always succeeds,” she said.

For the next few years as she Sara continued to stand with her son, she particularly enjoyed occasionally staying in the White House, often to fill in for the First Lady as she traveled. In fact, she seemed to enjoy the status as the President’s mother, in a setting where the staff of the White House private quarters quietly called her “The Queen.” And in 1939, she had the opportunity to actually entertain British royalty—when King George VI and Queen Elizabeth—visited the U.S., and briefly visited the Roosevelt Hyde Park home. Despite Sara’s disapproval mixed drinks were to be served, causing the President to tell the King, “My Mother does not approve of cocktails and thinks you should have a cup of tea.” The King replied as he accepted a whiskey, “Neither does my mother.”

As she grew older, Sara became more philosophical as she wrote Franklin, “I have been an unusually fortunate woman, first I had the love and protection of your grandfather, and then of your father and in my old age you have made possible for me the interesting life I am now leading.”

In the summer of 1941 while staying at the Roosevelt retreat at Campobello, Sara suffered a slight stroke but only employed a nurse, when the president urged her to. She seemed to be doing better and at summer’s end, welcomed the president’s visit to the Hyde Park home. However, she passed away just before her 87th birthday.

Yet her presence was still in force since ironically, just moments after her death, an immense oak tree at the Hyde Park home toppled on what was a clear windless day.

President Roosevelt wore a black armband for some weeks, particularly noticeable when in December he signed the legislation of war declaration against Japan. His grief was also evident after Sara’s death as he went through her belongings and found one box where she had kept items associated with his childhood. At first he tearlessly but solemnly sorted through the letters, toys and other objects but when he found a lock of his childish curls the combination of memories about Sara, and how she had affected his life finally brought him to tears.

~*~

Anne Adams is a retired church staffer. She lives in East Texas and has an historical column for a local newspaper. She has published in Christian and secular publications for more than 40 years.

References:
Wikipedia
National Park Service
Bonnie Angelo, First Mothers: The Women Who Shaped the Presidents. Harper/Collins Books 2000 NY